


Hanahaki: The Absurd Science of Love

by MurielleLibrary



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Banter, But mostly fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, pointing out the absurdity of such, puking up flowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24656653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurielleLibrary/pseuds/MurielleLibrary
Summary: Hermann finds it absolutely absurd and unscientific that a person should start vomiting flowers because that person is in love. Hermann also finds himself vomiting up flowers.Teen rating for a few swears.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Comments: 13
Kudos: 61





	Hanahaki: The Absurd Science of Love

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Decline Dahlia, Ambrosia Too](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15003173) by [WaldosAkimbo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaldosAkimbo/pseuds/WaldosAkimbo). 



> I read WaldosAkimbo's fic and I had never heard of hanahaki before, but it gave me some ideas. Specifically the idea that Hermann would find the whole disease ridiculous. So, I want to thank them for putting this little nugget in my head.

Everyone in the world knew the symptoms. Even schoolchildren. Especially schoolchildren. Who could blame them? The first time you saw someone, or you yourself, suddenly begin vomiting whole flower petals was something of an experience. Thankfully, it had never proven fatal, just awkward and messy. It was christened "Hanahaki Disease" six years ago, a year after the first cases began happening and now it was surprisingly commonplace. Aside from the questionable connection to the opening of the breach and the arrival of the kaiju, based solely on the fact that one began shortly after the other, there was little evidence to explain the phenomenon. There was no known reason behind such an absurd condition, it wasn't some virus or bacteria, nor parasite, genetic anomaly, or mutation. Nothing that could categorically place it within the realms of logical science.

And that is why Hermann Gottlieb despised it.

"Love sickness. _A love sickness!_ It's preposterous!" Hermann shouted over the music playing just a bit too loudly for his tastes. Not that the type of music was to his tastes either, but it was Newton's turn for at least one more hour.

"I'm not saying it's scientifically sound, but dude, you gotta accept the possibility."

"The possibility that people _randomly_ begun vomiting up _flower petals_ of all things… because they… _have unrequited romantic feelings?!_ It's ridiculous! I-if that were the case, thousands of secondary and collegiate school attendees would be _up to their armpits in them!!!_ "

"Naw, naw. Remember? Leslie says it has to be _true romantic affection_ , not just lusty hormones."

"Cartwright. That stupid article was by Dr. Cartwright. Don't be so informal, Newton. You barely know the woman." Hermann hissed out before continuing with the topic at hand. "Romantic affection. We both know that simply boils down to a release of high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. _Nothing_ that would cause reactions such as this."

"Jesus. Where is your sense of, well, romance! You freakin' robot!"

"Last week I was a Vulcan." Hermann muttered. He had actually liked that comparison.

"Yeah well, at least Spock knew how to love somebody!"

"We are NOT having the Kirk/Spock discussion, _again!_ "

" _You_ just don't wanna believe in the power of love!"

"Chemicals, Newton. It all boils down to chemicals. With your six separate degrees, I would think you would be fully aware of the biochemistry! Vomiting up genetically accurate, fully intact flower petals is a slap in the face of reason!"

"AHA! YOU DID READ THE ARTICLE. _I DIDN'T MENTION THE FLOWERS' GENETICS!_ " Newt crowed triumphantly.

"O-of course you did! Anyway, I don't see why you are even wasting your time reading that trrrashy excuse for a medical thesis."

"Dude. She _consulted me_. Possible connections to the effects of kaij-"

"Coincidental timing does not equate to correlation!!"

And so things continued, in their usual fashion...

...until the day Hermann coughed.

Nothing out of the ordinary proceeded the cough. Hermann was quietly scrawling equations on his chalkboard. Newt was singing along to the music, as he looked over some slides in the electron microscope. The music was actually Hermann's choice, but Newt seemed to know every song every written and would merrily join in if he was in a good mood, whether there were actually words or not.

Hermann pursed his lips, preparing to deliver a light hearted jab, when he felt the tingle in his chest. He had covered his mouth, because he was raised to be polite and hygienic, and was surprised to pull his hand away and find color in his palm. Momentarily, he thought it was blood. It wasn't. 

Luckily, he could play it off as a stubborn cold. For now.

It has been recorded that those who suffer from Hanahaki experience their symptoms in a variety of ways, but it generally boils down to a series of "blossoms", where small petals or small quantities of petals are expelled from the lungs, up to a "full bloom". A sudden, violent and extremely large quantity of petals. As the disease progresses, the odds of experiencing a full bloom become exponentially higher.

Hermann, being a highly observant and methodical man, began to anticipate most reactions. That growing warmth of affection that preceded each blossom. He tried to quash such feelings at first, but found that doing so tended to lead to a larger attack down the line. On more than one occasion, he found himself leaving the lab earlier than planned, to return to his quarters for a night spent hunched over the waste bin. 

But it was getting worse. 

Just the other day they were shouting down the walls at each other, when suddenly Hermann felt a surge in his chest. It was only by sheer coincidence that a tech chose just that moment to run in, to alert Newton to the arrival of some long awaited equipment. Never had rising panic so swiftly transformed into knee-buckling relief. Or perhaps that was the violent retching Hermann gave himself over to once Newton's footfalls were out of earshot.

In the midst of a row! My God. What if Newton _had seen_. It would be the end of everything. Herman could picture it. The precise moment where his life would end. Standing there, choking out flowers for Newton. In front of Newton. The mockery at succumbing to the very disease he derided so vehemently, from Newton. Death would be preferable to that…

Even so, the thought that his last moments would be filled with Newton's laughter, Newton's triumph, brought up another tiny fit of melancholy petals.

\---

A new sample had arrived. Newt was ecstatic. Naturally, Hermann had accompanied him up to the bay, to speak with the returning pilots. Obviously. Because that is what he did when a small group of them appeared. He leaned almost casually on his cane as they gave him feedback on various recent modifications.

Newt stood by impatiently, drumming his fingers along the cart handle briefly before angrily hauling it towards the freight elevator down to the lab.

Hermann glanced over at the sound of the elevator's caution alarm. Of course Newton wouldn't wait. It made his chest start to ache in a familiar and threatening manner, so Hermann quickly excused himself and made his way back down to the lab, via the stairs. It was a wise choice. Physical exertion seemed to ease the discomfort, or at least replace it with a growing ache in his bad leg.

Newt was elbows deep in his new samples when Hermann clacked back into the lab. And he was blasting some heavy music through his headphones so loud Hermann could make out most of the lyrics. A sure sign that Newton was upset at him.

Hermann sighed and grimaced as he limped triedly towards his computer terminal. He could never predict what would set Newton off, but when the headphones went on, he knew he was too angry to even have a decent row. Somehow, that was even worse.

Between heavy breaths from the trek down the stairs, Hermann could feel his chest tightening again. Finally, he began to cough. He thought he had caught it in time, but it was a big one. Flower petals spewed out from between his fingers. He wildly glanced at Newt, futilely praying the other man had not seen.

"Oh. My. God." Newt breathed, eyes wide as dinner plates. "Hermann…"

Newt pulled his arm out of the kaiju organ he had been groping around in. Without taking his eyes away from Hermann, he snapped his gloves off and tossed them on the table. He maintained eye contact as he yanked out his headphones and wove through two more carts of kaiju innards.

"Now, now Newton. Hold on. It's nothing. You didn't- Let's not jump to any-" Hermann stammered, and tried to back away as Newton crossed over the dividing line. He could feel the heat rising up, tinting his cheeks and ears as pink as the damning petals he clutched at.

"Who. Is. It? Who is the asshole who made this happen, Hermann?" Newt shouted. "I'll murder them. I'll dissect them and chop them up into little bits! I'll destroy every trace of their DNA from the PLANET."

Through another choking spray of flowers, Hermann laughed. He laughed as he began to cry, from the pain or the irony or both, he wasn't really sure anymore.

"Hermann! HOLY SHIT." Newt's hands were on his shoulders, trying to steady him. "Wait… are you... laughing?"

"Hermann, I am being serious!" Newt cried out in that adorably frustrated way, as he flapped his arms. "Anyone who doesn't see what an absolutely amazing guy you are doesn't deserve you! And if they did anything to make you feel unwanted, then holy fuck they deserves it when I dunk them in a vat of raw kaiju blue. I mean it. You deserve to be loved. You deserve all the love in the world, man. You spend all day down here with me coming up with genius ways to fight to save humanity and shit! Those pilots would just be regular dudes without the robots you design! You're a hero, dude. Your _my_ fucking hero and if some dickwad can't-"

Newt's mile a minute tirade was violently ended in a riot of colors, vomiting out of his own mouth.

Hermann stood there panting and staring, bewildered. First at the mingling piles of petals on the floor, then at Newt. Newt stared back, hand clasped over his mouth. Just as he began to pull away, Hermann's hand shot out like a cobra, grasping his wrist.

"Newton wait! These flowers…are for..." Hermann said. "... _me?_ "

"Whaaaat? No? Hell no. Come on…." Newt replied, squirming as he tried to extract his arm. Damn it, but Hermann had an iron grip. Newt might be able to make a break for it if he put all his weight into it… but if it put Hermann off balance and he fell… Newt was completely trapped. "...y-yeah maybe."

"But...But I yell at you constantly. I berate and belittle your field! I insist you work within certain constraints and maintain levels of professionalism that you clearly have no desire to uphold!"

"Naw man. I mean. You do. And yeah, I'll bitch about you and fight right back cuz I'm a masochist and But. Like. Like I was saying. You're amazing. And smart. And super dedicated… Like, Ok. We all know I'm gunna be a freaking rockstar when this is all over, basking in our rightfully earned fame and glory. But you… you're just gunna go back and do your maths and keep solving the world's problems in some little quiet cottage somewhere… like, you're doing it all just to save the world and for science… it's so... pure." He babbled. His eyes glazed over with admiration, before turning sadly downward. "So like... it's fine if you hate me, but no one gets to make you unhappy."

"Newton. Oh dear God, Newton. I don't… I've never… alright maybe that one time … and then the other..." Hermann began to mumble, momentarily losing his train of thought to historical accuracy. "Newton. You are... the most annoying, pig-headed, illogically logical and frustratingly genius person I have ever met and... I... couldn't for a moment imagine that you might harbor any positive feelings towards me at all."

Overcome, in what he would later categorize as a level 4 moment of insanity, Hermann pulled on Newton's wrist, cast his other arm (still gripping his cane) around Newt's shoulders and pulled him into the fourteenth stiffest hug in recorded history. The other thirteen were with his father over an equal number of previous Christmases.

"Wait… Hermann… sweet Jesus... a-am I the asshole dickwad?" Newt gasped as he wriggled out of Hermann's arms to get a better look at his face.

"Yes Newton. Yes you are." Hermann said, his chest filling up again with that familiar warmth. He didn't have to worry about flowers this time, however. The warmth shown out from his smile.

"Oh. Well. Ok then. I'm just gunna go dunk myself in a vat then I guess."

"Come back here you insufferable man."


End file.
